Monday, 20 March 2017

Wheat-Free Pecan Bread

Inspired Nutrition taught us how to make this delectable wheat-free pecan bread at a wonderful workshop that they held for us on the 11th of March in Brighton. We've absolutely loved making this versatile dish at home and we're sure you will too.

Ingredients: 

300 grams pecan nuts 
1tbsp baking powder
¼ tsp cinnamon
4 eggs
1 large ripe banana
2 tbsp olive oil

Recipe:

1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees.
2. Grind the nuts in a blender. Place in a bowl with the other dry ingredients.
3. Place the eggs, banana and oil in a blender. Blitz until smooth.
4. Pour the batter into the dry ingredients and mix well.
5. Spoon into a lined loaf pan
6. Bake for 45 minutes. Turn out and allow to cool.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Mega-Dose vitamin C, a Magic Bullet?

Dr Damien Downing shares his research and findings into the use of  Vitamin C for people with cancer

Yes to Life is "the UK's integrative cancer care charity” –
integrative not alternative. Integrative medicine means using the best of every approach, because particularly with cancer there are very few “Magic Bullets”. But when your back is against the prognostic wall it is so easy to search for and grasp at treatments that might be “Magic”. I guess the favourite is currently mega-dose intravenous vitamin C. We need to curb our enthusiasm a bit here, for two reasons.

The first is that it just doesn’t make sense to be non-integrative and to put all your eggs in one basket. This is certainly true of vitamin C and it’s true generally. If a treatment is only considered to improve your prospects by 20 percent, or 30 or even 60, why would you bet on that alone? It’s not like horse-racing, there isn’t a prize for first-past-the-post. What does make sense is to stack the percentages up; 30 percent benefit from treatment A, 30 from B, 20 from a third, and so on. Vitamin C, and antioxidant therapy in general, can be a useful component of this approach. But you need to know about the pitfalls too.

The second reason is that there are difficulties – practical, financial and logistical – with mega-dose IVC. The financial problem is this; at over £250 a treatment, how often and for how long can you afford them? The logistical one depends on where you live; if it’s a 100-mile trip each way to get an IV, how often can you afford the time and energy? The top practical one is probably this; if you’ve had chemotherapy your veins are a mess, and IVC won’t help that. How many treatments will your veins tolerate?

So let’s reframe this.

The use of vitamin C (ascorbic acid) in cancer is the legacy of Linus Pauling, twice Nobel Prize winner, who with Abram Hoffer invented the term orthomolecularfor therapies using  molecules that are familiar to the body. In the 1970s Pauling published, with Scottish surgeon Ewan Cameron, two studies reporting that cancer patients, who had been told that there was no further orthodox treatment for them, given 10 grams (2 teaspoons) of vitamin C per day, lived longer and had better quality of life [1,2]. It is important to note that in these studies the vitamin C (intravenous at first, then oral) was used alongside surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Of the two studies at the Mayo Clinic which have been claimed to refute the Pauling/Cameron hypothesis [3,4], one used vitamin C alone as the treatment, and the other gave it after chemotherapy had finished.

Most importantly though, both Mayo studies only gave vitamin C until there were signs of disease progression – which was an average of only 10 weeks. The principal author, Prof. Moertel, remarked; The claim that a life-extending treatment for a disease must be given until the day the patient dies is a bit unusual. This shows a profound misunderstanding of what they were dealing with – it’s not a drug, it’s food.

You can see why it mattered from the survival chart here, which I had to cobble up myself from the original Cameron & Pauling data, so apologies if it looks a bit wobbly. If you follow the 50% line across the middle you can see that in the control group the average survival of these “terminal” patients was about 40 days, or 6 weeks, and in the ascorbate group it was over 100 days, by which time the Mayo studies had stopped the ascorbate in most cases. One patient in 6 was still going at the end of the study just over a year later.

Now that’s not very long, but look at the second graph, which comes from the first analysis that Abram Hoffer made [5], of patients treated from 1976 to 1988. He tweaked the protocol by adding smallish doses of zinc and B vitamins to the vitamin C – and again it was integrative therapy; the patients also received chemo-, radio-therapy and/or surgery, in fact all of them did except one patient. And what a difference that simple and sensible tweak made; 1 in 3 still alive 9 years down the line, and the standard 5-year survival end-point increased by 800 percent.




The below image is how Pauling and Cameron summed up in 1979 [6];


























Briefly
, it is our view that supplemental ascorbate is of some value to all cancer patients, and can be of very great value, inducing tumor regression, in a fortunate few.

This, then is where I advise anybody with cancer to start – to be exact, this plus reforming the diet (see other blogs). At the 10 gram/day oral dose level the vitamin C can only be supporting the white blood cells of the immune system in doing their job – it can’t be killing cancer cells directly. But that’s OK; the treatment is scientifically plausible, it has been shown to be clinically effective (once you cut through the Mayo-derived confusion), and it’s cheap and easy to do.

And it’s safe, and doesn’t clash with other treatments. Despite frequent hyped-up claims to the contrary, my reading of the research is that it doesn’t interfere with chemotherapy at all. The conclusion of two systematic reviews on this in 2007 [7,8] was;

None of the trials reported evidence of significant decreases in efficacy from antioxidant supplementation during chemotherapy. Many of the studies indicated that antioxidant supplementation resulted in either increased survival times, increased tumor responses, or both, as well as fewer toxicities than controls.

There are two compounds that appear to work synergistically with vitamin C against cancer [9]. Because you/we probably don’t know how responsive your tumour is to vitamin C, it is sensible to take both. If you do have some data about tumour response, this might change.

Lipoic acid; a new, demonstrably more potent form of this, known as R-lipoic acid, is now available. In vitro (in the laboratory) this reduced the level of vitamin C needed to achieve an anti-cancer effect by about a factor of five [9]. Daily dose should be at least 400mg.

Vitamin K; has the same in vitro impact, and may also work on cancer in other ways. We therefore now recommend taking this as well. Daily dose over 300 mcg (micrograms).



References

1. Cameron E, Pauling L. Supplemental ascorbate in the supportive treatment of cancer: Prolongation of survival times in terminal human cancer. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 1976;73(10):3685-89.

2. Cameron E, Pauling L. Supplemental ascorbate in the supportive treatment of cancer: re-evaluation of prolongation of survival times in terminal human cancer. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 1978; 75 (9): 4538-42.

3. Creagan ET, Moertel CG et al., Failure of High-dose Vitamin C (Ascorbic Acid) Therapy to Benefit Patients with Advanced Cancer, N Engl J Med. 1979; 301: 687-90

4. Moertel CG, Fleming TR, Creagan ET, Rubin J, O'Connell MJ, Ames MM. High-dose vitamin C versus placebo in the treatment of patients with advanced cancer who have had no prior chemotherapy. A randomized double-blind comparison. N Engl J Med. 1985; 312(3): 137-141

5. Hoffer A. Antioxidant Nutrients and Cancer. J Orthomol Med 2000; 15 (4): 193-200

6. Cameron E, Pauling L, Ascorbate and Cancer, Proceedings of the American Philosophical Society 1979; 123: 117-23.

7. Block KI, Koch AC, Mead MN, Tothy PK, Newman RA, Gyllenhaal C. Impact of antioxidant supplementation on chemotherapeutic efficacy: A systematic review of the evidence from randomized controlled trials. Cancer Treat Rev. 2007; 33(5): 407-18

8. Block KI, Koch AC, Mead MN, Tothy PK, Newman RA, Gyllenhaal C. Impact of antioxidant supplementation on chemotherapeutic toxicity: A systematic review of the evidence from randomized controlled trials. Int J Cancer 2008; 123(6):1227-39

9. Casciari JJ, Riordan NH, Schmidt TL, Meng XL, Jackson JA, Riordan HD. Cytotoxicity of ascorbate, lipoic acid, and other antioxidants in hollow fibre in vitro tumours. Br J Cancer 2001;84(11):1544–50. 5







I am not an oncologist and have no expertise in the treatment of cancers. I do not and cannot claim to treat cancer. I see patients, some of whom have cancers, and to those I offer adjunctive nutritional therapy, in which I do have expertise. I will not advise you on the use of chemotherapy, surgery etc. At all times my recommendation is for an integrative approach.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Soothing Mushroom Soup from Inspired Nutrition



Here is a very easy-to-make mushroom soup for you at home given to us by 
Inspired Nutrition at our Outsmart Cancer Cookery Class on Saturday.
It was absolutely
delicious, healthy and very moreish. We can't wait to make it ourselves!
Click here to find out what other workshops and events we have in store for 2017.



Ingredients:

500 grams of mushrooms

1 large onion, peeled and diced

500ml homemade vegetable stock or broth

100ml coconut milk

1tbsp olive oil

2 cloves of garlic, crushed

3-4 sprigs of fresh thyme



Recipe:

1. Saute the onions and garlic in the olive oil until soft then add the mushrooms and       thyme.


2. Fry the mushrooms until lightly browned,add the hot stock then pour the
    contents of the pan into a blender and then blend until smooth.

3. Return the soup to the pan, add coconut milk and heat through.

4. Season to taste and serve in large bowls decorated with a sprig of thyme in each.




Sunday, 5 March 2017

My Work Experience at Yes To Life - Anna Jevons

Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Anna Jevons and I am a 14 year old, year 10 student from Highgate Wood Comprehensive. This week has been my much anticipated work experience week and I have been fortunate enough to have been placed with the Yes To Life charity. 

Monday morning began well, as instead of reaching for the usual school uniform I examined my wardrobe to find something that would fit the ‘smart/casual’ brief. After several changes, I was finally satisfied with my reflection in the mirror and headed for the tube. Living in London, I have been on the tube many times, but normally at weekends. This felt different. Instead of my usual 5-minute walk to school with friends, I found myself being caught up in the crowds of people, all seeming in a real rush to get where they needed to be. On exiting the tube, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people walk with such purpose. I walked on feeling a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation.

As soon as I arrived at the office, I was warmly welcomed by Sue, the Executive Director and Jane, the Junior Executive and instantly felt the friendly atmosphere. After hearing all about the charity’s aims, including changing attitudes and making integrative cancer care readily available, I felt thoroughly passionate about bettering the care for cancer patients. The pride these ladies take in their work is truly inspiring. I absolutely love that there’s a genuine impetus and motivation behind his company, that being Bryony Daly, who died at the age of 23 after suffering from a rare and highly malignant muscle tumour. Yes To Life keeps her name alive as it strives to accommodate the health and happiness of its beneficiaries.

At once I was keen to start working on the admin tasks I had been set and found them challenging yet incredibly engaging. Sue and Jane were extremely generous in taking the time to run through everything with me. It was only day 2 and I felt like I had learned so much already. For instance I’m sure the excel skills I’ve been taught, will be useful for any future career I embark on. Perhaps the most emotional part of work so far occurred when organising past files of patients, some of whom who had sadly lost their battle against cancer. In addition to witnessing these harsh realities, reading through the files also allowed me to witness the uplifting determination of many of the charity’s beneficiaries. This charity is really making a difference to hundreds of beneficiaries’ lives!

Although my work has been predominately office based, I did get to run an errand for Sue, which took me to a hipster juice bar/bicycle shop. It ended up with me pumping up a gym ball in the street, much to the amusement of passers-by. This was all to ensure the executives kept their posture whilst working for the cause! I’d like to thank Sue and Jane for giving me this opportunity which I’ve found so rewarding and hope the charity continues to flourish and go from strength to strength.

Sunday, 26 February 2017

MindChoice Blog No.7

Mindfulness for Living Well with Cancer

Taster Workshop and 8 Week Course


I have been teaching workshops for the charity Breast Cancer Care for the last 2 years as part of their Moving Forward Course and I taught my first 8 week course in mindfulness at the Oxford Maggie Centre in 2012.  I am really excited to be hosting a workshop for Yes to Life in Oxford and a full 8 week course in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy especially adapted for people living with cancer.

I have found that even in a 30 minute workshop participants gain an experience of the peace and calm that is possible by coming to the present moment and begin to see how they may be adding to their own suffering with their habitual reactions to pain and illness.  For example, a pain in the body after you have had a diagnosis of cancer triggers anxious thoughts; we tend to tense up “what’s happening? Is it back? How long is it going to go on for?” These quite normal reactions create a cycle of suffering.  Mindfulness helps us develop a different relationship with pain and illness by becoming aware of this cycle and replacing the tension and resistance with more helpful responses.  We learn to let go of the struggle.

We are very fortunate to have 2 hours for you to experience and explore the benefits of mindfulness so that you have a real feel of whether this is something for you.  You will experience some simple meditation practices, have some practical tips and tools to take away and use in everyday life and when things become
over-whelming.

I see mindfulness as a life tool for transformation, not just in how we relate to the challenges of living with a chronic illness like cancer but in how we relate to our thoughts and feelings, those around us and the lives we lead. Mindfulness opens up a space, so that instead of being on the treadmill of life, we find we have a choice and are therefore better able to take responsibility for ourselves. We begin to develop a kinder, gentler attitude to ourselves and our limits and to create space for what really brings us alive.  And even without changing anything in our lives, we bring more joy by simply being present for the good things, the enjoyable things.

I will always remember a wonderful young man who was dying of cancer and was in that first group at the Oxford Maggie Centre alongside his fiancée. They had both dreamed of their lives ahead.  He was understandably full of anger at his prognosis but at the same time wanted to enjoy the time he had left.  Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen Buddhist Master wrote a book called The Miracle of Mindfulness. To this courageous young man mindfulness was a miracle.  From the very first practice he did there was a great sense of relief.  He described how he had been completely stuck in his head with angry thoughts about his illness and that it was the first time in months that he had really been present and alive to what was happening during the meditation.  To him this was revelatory.

Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom. 
Victor Frankl

Peace is in the Present Moment

Just think for a moment, when you are stressed or can’t sleep what is happening, where is your mind? 

Yes, it is either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. These thoughts affect our mood and behaviour. Yet, often we are unaware that our minds are even doing this – we are on automatic pilot.  We live on automatic pilot a lot of the time whether we are showering, eating, driving or walking we are frequently unaware of the experience of what we are doing – we are lost in our heads.  The risk of this, and if we talk specifically about living with cancer, is that we may be worrying about the future, stirring up anxiety and tension in the body and increasing any pain in the process.  But we also miss the enjoyable moments of our lives – being with our children or friends, listening to a concert or being in the beautiful countryside.



   
Looking at the diagram above, it is easy to see how we could give our nervous systems a break by allowing ourselves some time each day to be in the present moment.  We have the breath and/or the body to use as anchors to the present moment.  By focusing the attention on the sensations of breathing or the feel of the body sitting in a chair, the weight held by the chair, the feeling of the feet on the floor we come into the here and now – rather than in the virtual reality of our minds. Thoughts will soon come in again but we train ourselves to notice them and, without any judgement, guide the attention back to the breath or body.

There are numerous studies showing the benefits of mindfulness for people living with cancer. They show reduction of stress symptoms, enhanced coping and well-being, improved immune function and improved quality of life.  There is also something very powerful that comes from the shared experience of being in the group.  Furthermore, studies have shown that personal growth and healing is possible once we get below the surface of fear, anxiety and depression. Mindfulness is a vital practice for living with a chronic illness like cancer and coming to terms with loss and one’s own mortality.

If after the Workshop you feel inspired to take it further, then please see below for more information about the 8 week course.  The course dates are: -

Tuesdays 2.00 – 4.00 pm
Starting: 2nd May 2017
Ending: 27th June 2017
No session during half term 30th May
Full practice day Saturday 17th June

Course Structure

The course is taught in eight 2 hours sessions and a day of silent practice, and includes: -

         guided instruction in mindfulness meditation practices and mindful movement
         an opportunity to explore your experiences with these practices through group dialogue, to support learning and understanding
         a short breathing practice to use in times of stress
         theoretical teaching
         home practice of meditations and weekly suggestions for ways of integrating mindfulness into daily life
         CDs with guided meditation for home practice and weekly handouts to support learning

Participation is always at your own level of comfort

About the Home Practice

         Mindfulness is more a way of being than a technique and it is the regular daily practice (30 minutes) that increases the likelihood of being able to use mindfulness when times are particularly tough.

By committing to the daily practice, at least for the duration of the course, you give yourself the best opportunity to experience a difference in how you relate to what is happening in your life. You may be surprised!


To register call Yes to Life on 0203 222 0587 or email office@yestolife.org.uk.  They will send you a registration form to fill in and send back.  Following this, they will arrange a time for you to speak with me.  This is an opportunity to talk about yourself and the particular challenges you may be facing at the moment and to learn more about mindfulness and how it may help.  You will be able to chat about any concerns you may have which may help in deciding if it’s the right course for you or the right time to be embarking on it.  It is a challenging but at the same time life-enhancing course.

I look forward to practising and learning with you.

Clare McLusky




Sunday, 19 February 2017

The slow, sloooow march of science

Today's blog from our Founder Robin Daly examines very closely the role of the 'scientist' in medical outcomes



Science is defined as ‘systematic knowledge of the physical or material world gained through observation and experimentation’. Sounds straightforward enough, but in the hands of humans with complex and poorly perceived motivations it can become translated into a dystopian but powerful worldview that makes little sense, but that has the power to harm very many people.

Ideally a scientist has an endlessly enquiring mind and is always convinced of how little he knows and how much more there is to be found out. In practice, however, the stance of science is all too often 


  • they used to think they knew 
  • but they were wrong 
  • now we know
This is a perpetual state of arrogance and ignorance, driven by a deep unacknowledged fear of the unknown and the uncertainties of life. While this is a fear shared by most humans, often science is used as a particularly effective shield to provide the illusion of security. In medicine, for example, this can manifest as the brilliant surgeon, supremely confident in his or her abilities and knowledge, who sweeps around the ward devastating one vulnerable patient after another, due to his or her utter disconnectedness from the realities of being human.

And as for ‘what’ is known, this tends to be what was taught to them at an early age, and that they will often cling to for dear life, against all the odds, often for a lifetime. Continuous Professional Development is an attempt to counter this destructive inertia, and I’m sure it has helped somewhat, but it is a very far cry from being driven to learn by burning intellectual curiosity. There’s a lot of truth in the commonly quoted observation that the real controlling factor over the rate of change in medicine is the working lifespan of doctors - you have to wait for one lot to die for any substantial new scientific view to be embraced.

Einstein - by anyone’s standards a ‘proper’ scientist - described this tragic state of affairs: “In the temple of science are many mansions, and various indeed are they that dwell therein and the motives that have led them thither. Many take to science out of a joyful sense of superior intellectual power; science is their own special sport to which they look for vivid experience and the satisfaction of ambition; many others are to be found in the temple who have offered the products of their brains on this altar for purely utilitarian purposes. Were an angel of the Lord to come and drive all the people belonging to these two categories out of the temple, the assemblage would be seriously depleted, but there would still be some men, of both present and past times, left inside.”1

More sinister than these very ‘human’ tendencies towards security, ambition, wealth and power are the forces that use them to their advantage. Here I am referring to business. Corporations have a very different raison d’être to medicine. They are there, first and foremost, to make money, not to save lives and not to make people healthy. If you manufacture patented pharmaceutical drugs, then you want the medical world to stay right on message with a credo that goes something like:

o   a drug is the answer to most health issues
o   drugs are safe and effective
o   any natural, unpatentable product is dangerous quackery
o   it is enormously expensive to make drugs so they have to cost an awful lot
o   drugs that are out of patent are of no interest or use - newer is always better
o   there are no simple, cheap solutions

and so on. Corporations have a very clear and well-documented understanding of the lack of true scientists in medicine (those rare beings who are more interested in what’s true than in their own comfort or advantage) and they use it mercilessly to maximise sales. Most doctors still believe that pharmaceuticals have little or no influence on prescribing habits, but science shows otherwise. Professor Peter Gotzsche2 in his shocking exposé of the pharmaceutical industry - Deadly Medicines and Organised Crime: How Big Pharma Has Corrupted Healthcare - makes clear the morally bankrupt methods and deadly consequences that characterise the business of medicine. Pharmaceutical corporations are using any and every method they believe they can get away with to keep medics ‘on message’, to keep them, at the very least, buying, and preferably endorsing and promoting their products. Using the tried and tested twin prongs of fear and desire, they incentivise medical staff looking for power, wealth, recognition and status and encourage fear of exclusion, ridicule, and loss of status for the sin of non-conformity. This is hardly the ideal climate for genuine scientific progress. But then business cares little for progress, only for profit.

To give just one small personal experience of the consequences of this situation: You would reasonably hope that the leading surgeon at a top London hospital would have achieved that status through his skills, his scientific rigour and his consequential ‘cutting edge’ knowledge. Following the amputation of my daughter’s leg due to a recurrence of cancer, he had her on ‘the latest’ in pain management for such situations - Oxycontin. My daughter then experienced marked symptoms, between doses and during the period when the dose was being reduced. We had no idea if these were symptoms of cancer or of treatment. So we asked the ‘expert’, who breezily responded that it couldn’t be the medication as, despite being an opiate, it didn’t have any side effects or withdrawal symptoms. 

A little while later, out of desperation to help our daughter, we consulted the internet. All you needed to do was to pop the word ‘Oxycontin’ into Google and ‘boom’ - there it was: reams of posts and articles from people about the exact, unacknowledged side-effects my daughter was suffering.

How could a top surgeon have got it so wrong? How could someone clearly so intelligent act in such a blind and stupid way? Well it all came out in the news eventually: the pharmaceutical sales reps had been instructed to simply tell the medics that it had no side effects. That’s literally all it took! No science required. The profession was so thoroughly ‘on message’ that scientific scrutiny and the interests of patients had long ago been dispensed with. This is a small example of the sort of dystopian ‘science’ I referred to at the outset.

Of course it has always been thus. What is fairly new is our ability, as the public, to check up on what is going on, via the internet. Doctors have up to now enjoyed unjustified levels of public trust, but fortunately the days of carte blanch acceptance of their ‘expertise’ is waning and their real allegiances are increasingly exposed. If doctors don’t start changing their ways very soon, experiences such the one I described above, or bogus dietary advice based upon zero training or knowledge’ will have them languishing at the bottom end of the ‘trust tables’ along with bankers and politicians. Blandly pronouncing that there is ‘no evidence’ for anything that they don’t understand or that isn’t a drug, as a way to justify ridiculing and dismissing it makes them look increasingly stupid to a public often better informed about the evidence than they are.

Tragically the charity sector all too often lines up dutifully behind business interests as well. Simplistic health messages and ‘health myths’ that are winners for the food and pharmaceutical industries become fixed charity dogma, propelled forward by the imperatives of industry’s bottom line, long after any shred of science that once supported the initiative has evaporated. And then we have to endure the painful process of damage limitation: an ‘authoritative’ organisation that is supposed to have the public interest at its heart - but that has allowed itself to become ridiculous by dogmatically adhering to superceded ‘scientific truths’ - desperately scrabbling around for ingenious ways to refresh their dogma without losing too much face. It’s embarrassing, and the health cost paid by the public for this kind of ‘science’ is appalling. Tragically, you see evidence of this  malaise in many of the major charities, and you only need to look to their sources of funding and at which industries they habitually recruit their top executives from, to understand why.


Successive governments - also prey to the allure of almost limitless money and power exuding from industry, not to mention the threats to take their riches elsewhere if they suffer too much scrutiny or regulation - have been cripplingly slow to realise that to entrust the progress of healthcare to business is a fool’s game, since business has no intention to make us well. It profits from our disease, and if halting the progress of science is what it takes to make more money, that’s what will be happening. We urgently need a UK ‘Bernie Sanders’  to start telling it like it is, and to finally dispel the one massive and self-evident healthcare myth - that corporations care about our health and well-being. They never have, and asking them to is a clear case of putting the fox in charge of the hens.


1 Address at Physical Society, Berlin (1918), for Max Planck’s 60th birthday
2  ISBN-10: 1846198844  ISBN-13: 978-1846198847



Friday, 10 February 2017

A Mother's story by Virna Baillie

Part Two – Jordan’s Journey - Entering the tunnel of darkness


It lands on your door stop like a meteorite - here it is a letter from the cancer centre for my 18 year old son. At first the awkwardness, then the pain and then summoning up the strength to face this journey is beyond immense and that's for just me.
What must it really be like for those who tread this splintered path?  The truth is until we do, we will never know because those who do are the most courageous, humble and caring people and they are the ones who actually end up carrying you.

I ashamedly could not go to the first appointment with Jordan to the cancer centre. I stayed at home on Valium, petrified, in tears, with a fear that if I should go, I would break down like some wreck while my child got battered by the news he was to receive.

That day he had a series of questions and tests then a pat on the back and a cancer sentence given to him.   No formal diagnoses just we know you have cancer just not sure which type yet.

I remember Jordan coming home shutting himself into a dark bedroom and going to bed.  I stood outside his door feeling sick and not even knowing what to say or how to give him hope - any hope.

Nothing from this moment on made sense. Bombarded with information, but nothing to offer him but the standard cancer treatment.  No choice, no real explanations just information and leaflets which may as well have been in Japanese.  Your brain can simply not take in any information - your child has cancer. How on earth do you function? Well let me tell you - YOU DON'T.  You forget how good it feels to be alive, you put one foot in front of the other but it's not you walking.

Jordan’s now admitted to hospital as his pain in no longer controllable at home.  A very pleasant member of the pain team comes to visit Jordan but just dosed him up on morphine.  Ahh the worlds a shiny, happy place. Chemo starts in a couple of days.  My baby boy gets hooked up to his poison - he instantly goes yellow, transparent and ill. His taste changes, he feels sick. His eyes can't bear light so much so he has to wear glasses. His bones and muscles ache and sleep becomes his only escape. How can this be happening - not my boy - none of this makes sense and why should it.  The chemo flows through his veins, this poison that is so strong the nurses are protected from head to toe. If it touched your skin it would burn a hole so imagine what it does to your insides.

Like a fire destroying everything in its path apart from the cancer. Jordan is desperately ill after his first round of chemo. Absolutely nothing helps subside his sickness, he in such a bad way. After still feeling like this after 5 days they decide that this is not a normal sickness but possibly a blockage. The tumour had bled, haemorrhaged causing the tumour to block his bowel. Jordan now needed life-saving surgery.

So here's the best bit. The oncologist tells me he has a great chance of not making the operation and he now has very few white blood cells otherwise known as neutropenic and that he would have no defences to fight an infection.  In other words the surgeon is telling me without the operation the obstruction will kill him.

Jordan wanted the operation so we were booked in with Dr Shanker who is a sarcoma specialist and apparently eats sarcomas for breakfast.   At last, a glimpse of some hope in this crazy world we were all living in.

Four hours of walking up and down Tottenham Court Road in a daze with a girlfriend of mine and then I am called by one of the consultants. Jordan was in recovery, the tumour had been removed and there was no spread of the disease to other organs and as far as the human eye could see no more cancer.

We had reached the shore. My amazing, lovely boy was on the road to recovery to be a fit healthy 18 year old and if anyone can beat this Jordan could. 

My beautiful son 
A fit young man